Monthly Archives: December 2013

The Goodbye

Years ago in conversation with my mother, she admitted to me that she’d hardly shed a tear after her mother’s death. Why, I’d asked her perplexed. Don’t people cry when a parent dies? Mom reasoned that grandma had been comfortable with dying, and that she was convinced her mother and God would be waiting for her at the time of death.

My mom’s explanation comforted her, and I have pondered it for the past 28 years. And then, my mother who suffered dementia, died last year on December 18th. When I heard the news, I cried; but truthfully not long. During the year since, I’ve waited for more tears, but none have come. Perhaps it’s because our relationship was complicated, or because I harbor unresolved anger towards her? Perhaps. Instead I reason that even with mom’s dementia, she and I managed to say goodbye—a goodbye that requires no more tears. (more…)

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