The other day an email landed in my inbox from Rita Bonchek, mother of Lisa Bonchek Adams. Many of my writer friends will remember Lisa for the blogs she wrote after she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2006. Lisa, who died on March 6, 2015, became a voice for expressing what others could not find the words to say about cancer.
“A Connecticut mother of three, Adams shared her story in more than 176,000 tweets and frequent blog posts. Adams’ frequent updates attracted more than 15,000 Twitter followers, as well as controversy over the road of social media in writing about death and disease.” (Nolan Feeney, March 7, 2015, time.com)
I met Lisa in February 2013 at a Dani Shapiro writing retreat in Connecticut. Before Lisa introduced herself to our circle of writers, she handed each of us a typewriter cookie. Or did she hand it to us as a parting gift? My memory is fuzzy. But what I do remember is what I said to her:
“Thank you, I’ll cherish this, Lisa.” She said, “I mean for you to eat them,” and then repeated herself to us all.
But I didn’t eat my gift. Instead, I carefully packed the typewriter cookie in my suitcase, carried it back to Angel Fire, New Mexico, and pinned it to my bulletin board. Five years later, it still hangs there.
During the weekend I met Lisa, I came to admire her as she shared candidly about her cancer and aggressive treatments, and how she wrote her blog as a legacy to leave for her family. I have to think, no, it’s obvious that her unbridled commentary on treatments, surgeries, how she shared her illness with her children, and expressed her pain, joy, sadness, and grief is the reason so many people came to follow Lisa’s blogs and tweets.
While with us at Dani’s retreat, Lisa blogged:
Retreat
February 4th, 2013
I awaken to the sound of the snowplow scraping,
Metal on asphalt, grotesque.
I didn’t move last night.
Soft bedding, peaceful house, drained body.
I lay in bed not wanting to start the day.
Friends will gather,
We will share and learn and grow.
But before we do,
when we eat,
I know I must dive headlong into the abyss.
My breakfast will come with a side dish of chemo,
A higher dose than last time.
It’s time to begin again.
Back to reality some will say when we part.
I never left it behind.
What would I do if I found out I have cancer? Would I persevere as Lisa did? Could I be that fiercely courageous? I hope I never have to know. But if that diagnosis finds me, I know I will reach for Lisa’s writings, the most popular of which have just been published in the book, Persevere: A Life with Cancer.
As I mentioned in the beginning, Rita Bonchek sent an email announcing the publication of Persevere: A Life with Cancer by Lisa Bonchek Adams along with Rita’s request to help her spread the word. Knowing Lisa, however briefly, touched me, as did her writing. I am spreading the word, because who knows who you, my reader, knows? The wisdom in this book may help you and someone you know and love who has cancer.
Persevere: A Life with Cancer by Lisa Bonchek Adams is available for purchase on Amazon and via https://www.lisasbook.com. All proceeds from the sale of the book are being donated to the Bonchek Family Foundation for cancer research, which was created in Lisa’s honor.
